Please can you help me understand why you think that the cane is the right way to instill discipline and obedience in the child.
- You say that you were not maimed or killed by your parent’s use of the cane.
You claim that no child has been killed by being beaten, you say that those that have been injured have had that occur because the adult was a child abuser and not an adult who was just trying to instill discipline!
Well I am sorry to disappoint you but children have died, and they have been maimed by the use of the cane. Most we wait until it happens at our doorsteps before we really see what is going on?
There is a problem I see here that plagues us. We do not report a lot of child abuse we see happening around us. When we do report incidences, records are not properly kept, most of the time information is also not in the public domain. Even the little that is available is not studied and researched to help us understand better how our society is being run and what measures we need to put in place to make things better. There is a lot of talk but so little robust, scientific scholarly research and analysis, and I believe that we need this to happen in many ways to help the die-hard remainders on this issue truly see the light.
I am not trying to force people to stop using the cane, I am simply saying that it is wrong and we could at least try other ways and see if it works.
Now I want to give us a few pointers to facts of incidences that have occurred so that the myth that children have not died or been maimed would be dispelled.
a) Student slapped by the Principals secretary dies. I wept when I read this one.
Well because when I first found out about her case, the story read that she nearly lost an eye and needed help, but as I dug deeper I found out that she died about six months later.
This is so not right people, a slap, a cane, what does it matter right?
It matters because it is violence on the helpless and we may be maiming or worst still extinguishing a life!
b) Student beaten to death
and lets not forget the children who are daily abused by family members, even grandmothers!
A lot is happening around us and I refuse to cover it up and bury my head in the sand and pretend that it is not happening.
We need to wake up to this evil that is taking the young from us, arise and remove this scourge. Please we must reconsider, is the cane really worth it?
2. Remember also that violence breeds violence, that is why we may grow up thinking that there is nothing wrong with it!
Apart from that teachers have died because they were attached by angry parents and relatives for flogging their child one just happened a few weeks ago!
Also I found out in my search of children abused by the use of the cane that students are now attacking teachers, there was an incident reported about some students descending on their teachers!
The teachers refused to allow them to cheat during their exams!
There are a lot of issues wrong here, but for now let us just focus on the issue that if we use violence to correct our children when they do wrong, they will learn to do the same thing!
3. You say that it is a command in the Bible, but is it?
When your child strays at the shopping mall and runs off while you were trying to get to his favourite pack of biscuits, and once you put the pack in the trolley and look around and he is gone, what do you do when you find him in the chocolate section of the store?
Shout and scream, and when you get home you give him five lashes of the cane? Try five spanks on his backside instead, though I would not pick either.
I would instead talk it through, why he did it and let him list the things that could have gone wrong, and if he got lost and kidnapped for example would he like it?
I am not sure my child would have done that to start with because we would have talked about all this before hand and acted out different outcomes to help him see the dangers of not staying close to Mum and Dad when we are in public spaces.
For the sake of Biblical arguments let’s look at a specific situation. Remember the time when Jesus went missing?
His family had gone up to Jerusalem as they always did on a yearly pilgrimage, on the way back, they discovered that Jesus who was now 12 years of age, was missing!
They searched for him day and night for 3 days, then finally as they were about to give up they went to the temple and behold there was their child, sitting among the leaders and teachers in the temple, learning, asking questions and reasoning with them! Oblivious it seemed, to the fact that his parents were at their wit’s end having been searching for him day and night for 3 full days!
Now my question is this, did Jesus get a flogging, spanking , or a telling off? Granted he was 12 and I hope most of us would recognise the folly or thereof of using the stick on a soon to be teenager!
Where is the “Do not spare the rod and spoil the child” carrot in this incident? Surely Mary and Joseph must be very bad parents by some of our standards, as we certainly would have produced the cane and dealt with him.
Notice Jesus’s reply at Mary’s rebuke. Something to the effect that, “I am in my father’s house!!!”
Surely by now the cane would be out and several lashes after, Mary would have ensured that Jesus knew His place as a child and hers as a Mother, but none of that happened.
This too is in the Bible. Please educators and parents lets learn and re-learn.
The cane is an archaic way of instilling discipline, drop it now before more disaster occurs.
Use positive means to get our children learning great social skills , morals and ethics.
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