By Abayomi Ayomidele – Primary Three
It’s all because of the knocks and shouting that is happening all around me. I can talk to you now because you listen to me, that has helped. I am only happy about you. You want to know why? Well, you know I wrote you a letter last year? I was expecting you to be angry, instead with tears in your eyes, you said, ‘Abayomi, I am so sorry, that I made you feel this way’. You also promised it will never happen again, and you have kept your promise.
Mrs Adefemiwa, I feel safe with you in the classroom, but I don’t feel safe at home anymore. Mum and Dad are always shouting at each other. I run to the room or outside when ever it starts. It is making me jittery and scared.
Yesterday, Daddy three a plate at Mum, it missed her by just a few inches. It was so fast, even I did not realize that he was so angry. I can tell most of the time, but not yesterday. Luckily my mum did not throw anything back yesterday. I think she was just as surprised. Now I am really scared, before I worried about them getting a divorce, but now I think they may kill each other!
Please Mrs Adefemiwa help me, I don’t know what to do, I am scared….
Help me Ma
Dear Parents, this is not good at all. This child, bless his heart, is trying to keep afloat but life keeps throwing his young life into turmoil. If you must argue and fight, please not in front of the children. It destabilizes them. They get worried, scared unable to concentrate on any thing else except what is going on around them at home. They wont pass those exams, and if they do it will be barely. You will now take it out on the poor child, not realizing that the root cause of their inability to do well at school is actually you.
Even if your child does well academically, you are actually doing emotional and psychological damage, since your child lives in constant fear of loosing his parents to the most vile of situations. Must you fight, shout, throw things at yourselves, and that infront of the children?
Sometimes what is needed is a third pair of ears, so you can bring sanity back into your relationship and give your children the opportunity to grow and blosoom the wahy God intended them to. My take on this is to see a Relationship or Marriage councellor, and let your children breathe again.
It is important for teachers to be aware of the emotional state of the children in their classrooms. Some of them could be going through trauma, it could be the reason why they are not concentrating or suddenly not getting the so called homework done. Probe and ask questions and bring up your findings to the notice of your school management. The school should have resources to help deal with the matter.
The job of parenting and teaching is a great mission. May we continue to fill the shoes that we must wear with understanding, love and a lot of determination to succeed.
A great resource that could be very useful is to join this Facebook group: The Right Fit Marriage Academy
go ahead and join it now.