Discipline is a major issue in our homes, schools, and society.
The problem is manyfold but starts with a misunderstanding of what discipline really is. The role of the adult in a child’s life is to prepare him for life. Discipline is at the core of this preparation.
There are extreme views about how to discipline a child. These extremist views create a chaotic quagmire for the adult in charge.
If you belong to these extremes, you are either a Controlling or Permissive Adult.
To know where you are at in your discipline journey ask yourself the following questions:
- Do you scream, shout, yell, pinch, or beat up a child to get him to do your bidding?
- Are you expecting a child to swallow up everything you say, do as he is told, and not be allowed to ask any questions?
- Is punishment your main tool for disciplining a child?
- Are you used to making all the decisions for the child?
- Will your child consider you the person in charge of his life?
- Do you think that saying ‘No!’ is wrong?
- Do you allow the child to do what he likes because you want him to be happy?
- Is your child showered with everything he asks for without question or restraint?
- Are you your child’s best friend and would lie for him if need be?
- Do you always side with your child when there is an issue with the teacher?
Here is the thing, if your answers to Nos 1 to 5 are all yeses then you belong to one end of the spectrum, you are a Controlling Adult. If on the other hand, your yeses belong to Nos. 6 to 10, you belong to the other end, you are a Permissive Adult.
This is a simplified test for adults, and it could be considered brutal by many.
Extremes are bad for the child when we consider our methods of helping them grow and develop.
It is important to understand what discipline is so that we can help our children grow into adults and enter society triumphantly and not be messed up by the adults in charge of preparing them for life.
We will talk about what discipline is next.